When it comes to birth education there are so many options available for women and their families. Hypnobirthing, calmbirth, private childbirth classes, hospital classes, online learning and more.
Birth classes are SO important for learning about birth physiology, interventions, active birth positions and more. Considering we learn very little about our bodies and how they are designed for birth in our current culture and education system, it is SO important to have this foundational knowledge.
So why bother adding sessions with a psychologist in the mix?
When I asked my midwife about some of the common preparation strategies you’ll hear about before labour/birth (“Should I be drinking raspberry leaf tea and eating dates?”), her response was:
“The most important preparation you will do is the mental preparation”.
You can imagine this was music to my ears as a psychologist! I remember just looking at her and nodding, feeling a sense of relief and focused determination. I didn’t have to rush out and buy another thing or add drinking tea to the to-do list. Instead, I had full permission to continue to sink into all the mental preparation I had been doing for labour and birth.
So what did my preparation involve?
Reflecting on and critically analysing the beliefs I had about birth
Deeply considering, reflecting on, and journalling about the reasons why I wanted a homebirth
Reflecting on the birth experience I wanted for myself and my baby (which was not about the type of birth e.g., vaginal, caesarean etc.) but about how I wanted us both to feel, and how I wanted us to work together to bring her earthside
Leaning even more into trusting my intuition (I’ve always been a big believer in following your gut feeling) but pregnancy took this to another level
Leaning into self-trust and self-advocacy
Critically reflecting on society’s ‘good girl’ conditioning where women are encouraged to subjugate our own needs in favour of those in positions of authority, power, and expertise (rather than our own innate wisdom)
Visualising the type of birth I wanted (spoiler alert: it wasn’t necessarily about the outcome, but about how I felt during the experience)
Boundary setting around unhelpful conversations about birth
Thoughtful consideration of if and how I would discuss my birth plans with others
Preparation and education with my partner about birth physiology, hospital birth practices, and evidence-based labour and birth research
Reflecting on attachment styles and how this might play out in birth
Reflecting on models of support, and discussing what would be genuinely helpful, oxytocin-fuelled support with my partner
Anticipating a crisis of confidence and planning ahead for how this could be managed
Planning ahead for how I would emotionally cope with a hospital transfer and what this would mean to me
Visualising how I would cope with pain during birth and practising my relaxation and mindfulness skills
Considering my schemas and how this could play out in the birth space
Anticipating how I would cope with any ‘wild cards’ during birth
Considering how I might surrender to the experience of birth, by leaning into the hormonal cascade and ensuring I felt safe enough to ‘switch off’ my thinking brain
…. And so much more.
What you might notice about the above list, is that this is pretty different to what you might cover in a birth class.
Yes, birth classes are absolutely necessary for learning about what to expect with your body and the birth process, what to expect in a hospital setting (where most people intend to birth), learning some skills for coping with birth (but simply learning it isn’t going to be enough – you’ll need to practise too), learning about active birth positions and more.
However, building on all of this with psychological, emotional, and relational preparation can be so helpful for supporting you to have the birth you dream of. We all have our own psychological, emotional, and relationship histories that can impact on birth. Birth preparation with a psychologist allows you a coveted, one-on-one, confidential, supported space to explore all of the above and more.
Here’s an idea of things we can explore during birth preparation sessions:
Therapy for past trauma (including birth trauma, sexual assault/sexual abuse, relationship trauma, adverse childhood experiences)
Therapy for anxiety, depression, stress and adjustment difficulties
Skills for labour, birth and parenthood: mindfulness, relaxation, self-soothing, self-care
Relationship/partner support (or whoever will be your chosen support in the birth space)
Self-advocacy & assertive communication skills
Learning how to think constructively and adaptively when experiencing unhelpful thinking patterns
Attachment styles and how these play out in birth
Schemas (core beliefs about yourself, others, and the world) and how these play out in birth
Beliefs about birth and mindset for birth
Control, surrender and getting out of your own head during birth
Connecting with and trusting your intuition
Radical, authentic, and unapologetic self-care
Bolstering your ability to work with physiological pain, your perception of and the meaning of pain.
Unpacking your family birth stories and beliefs about birth
Getting informed and understanding research about birth and evidence-based practices.
Understanding the fear – tension – pain cycle.
Understanding how to optimise oxytocin.
Preparing for a crisis of confidence
Preparing for matrescence & motherhood, individually, and preparing for parenting with your partner
Planning ahead for post-partum support
Most importantly – having a coveted space that is solely yours to celebrate and support you with this amazing, sacred transition in your life.
In my opinion, the baby showers, babymoons, expensive nursery set ups and baby accessories can wait.
You will never regret psychologically investing in yourself and your birth to set you up for an epic, empowered, transformative labour, birth, and beyond.